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| Home > Funny T-Shirts, Hoodies, Sweatshirts >
Warning: Not appropriate for Under 18s - please do not read this list if you are easily offended! We're offering T-Shirts, Sweatshirts and Hoodies printed with your choice of any of the slogans below. You can choose what colour, size, and what sort of top you want the slogan on, and whether you want the print on the front, or the back. They make great gifts for friends or relatives ... and can be great ice-breakers when you're out! Also, you can have these slogans printed on a mug or a mousemat. T-Shirts are £9.99 inc PP, Sweatshirts are £14.99 inc PP, and Hoodies are £16.99 inc PP. Mugs are £6.49 inc PP and Mousemats £5.99 inc PP. 1. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
2. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
3. All stressed out and no one to choke
4. And your point is .....
5. Angel
6. As Seen In Porn
7. Babe
8. Bad Attitude ... Great F*ck
9. Bad cop - no donut
10. Bad Girl
11. Bad Influence
12. Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder.
13. Been There, Done That
14. Beer - The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
15. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
16. Bitch
17. Bitchy
18. Bite Me
19. Bite me, I'm Juicy
20. Bondage ... It's Knot For Everyone
21. Born For Porn
22. Born Free...Taxed to death.
23. Brains, Beauty, Bitch!
24. Call Me Madam
25. Chaos, Panic, Disorder ... I See My Work Here Is Done
26. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
27. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
28. Deep Throat Specialist
29. Deviant
30. Do I Look Like A Fu*king People Person?
31. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
32. Do You Want My Cherry?
33. Don't annoy the crazy person
34. Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful ... Hate Me Because I'm A Bitch
35. Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful ... Hate Me Because Your Boyfriend Thinks I Am
36. Don't make me flip my bitch switch
37. Don't pi*s me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies
38. Don't tell me to relax, stress is the glue that holds me together
39. Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...
40. Earth... is the insane asylum for the universe
41. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
42. Everything I need to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains
43. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software
44. Finally 18, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been doing since I was 14
45. Flirt
46. For a small town this one sure has a lot of assholes
47. For my next trick I'll need a volunteer and a condom
48. Glutton For Punishment
49. God Is A Single Parent Too
50. God must love stupid people; He made so many of them
51. Good Girls Go To Heaven ... Bad Girls Go Down
52. Hands Off!
53. Happy Christmas!
54. It’s my Birthday!
55. Hard Bitch
56. HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH
57. How can I be overdrawn? I still have cheques!
58. How can I be so thirsty this morning when I drank so much last night?
59. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
60. I Aim To Tease
61. I AM The Peer Pressure
62. I did not escape, they gave me a day pass
63. I Don't Have Morals, Only Standards
64. I don't have to be dead to donate my organ
65. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it
66. I hate everybody, and you're next.
67. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?
68. I just do what the voices tell me
69. I Love Everybody ... And You're Next
70. I Luv Strippers
71. I Need Someone Really Bad ... Are You Really Bad?
72. I Never Learn
73. I said no to drugs but they wouldn't listen
74. I smile because you've all finally driven me insane!
75. I Suck
76. I took an IQ test and the results were negative
77. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now
78. I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
79. I was put on this earth to embarrass my teenagers in front of their friends
80. I Work Hard Because Millions On Social Depend on Me!
81. I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker colour
82. I'd be laughing my head off if this wasn't my life
83. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
84. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
85. If We Are What We Eat, Then I'm Fast, Cheap & Easy
86. If you can read this I pushed the b*stard off
87. If you can read this the bitch fell off
88. If You Think Size Doesn't Count ... You Have A Small P*nis
89. If You Think Winning Isn't Everything ... You're A Loser
90. If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In The Kitchen
91. If you’re sexy, text me …
92. I'm As Stupid As I Look
93. I'm from the government, I'm here to help you
94. I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
95. I'm multitalented: I can talk and pi*s you off at the same time.
96. I'm Naked Underneath These Clothes
97. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
98. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk - alcoholics go to meetings
99. I'm Not As Stupid As I Look
100. I'm out of bed and dressed - what more do you want?
101. I'm so poor I can't even pay attention
102. Instant a**hole, just add beer
103. It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you
104. It Only Seems Kinky The 1st Time
105. It’s a sick world, and I'm a happy guy
106. It's Only Illegal If You Get Caught
107. Jesus loves you...Everyone else thinks you are an asshole.
108. Jesus paid for our sins...Now lets get our money's worth!
109. Keep honking. I'm reloading.
110. Let Go Of My Ears - I Know What I'm Doing
111. Look At My Chest When I'm Talking To You!
112. Love Sucks ... I Swallow
113. Mistress
114. My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone
115. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't
116. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
117. Nice Inside
118. No They're NOT Fake
119. Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear
120. Not Intended For Decorative Use
121. Obviously my Mother smoked, drank and dropped acid during pregnancy
122. Of course I don't look busy ... I did it right the first time.
123. On The 8th Day God Created BEER!
124. Opinions are like a*sholes, everyones got one!
125. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
126. P.M.S. allows a woman to act once a month like men do every day
127. Pi**ing off the whole planet, one person at a time
128. POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on
129. Porn Star
130. Pornographic Memory
131. Prevent inbreeding: Ban Country & Western Music.
132. Princess
133. Procrastinate... Now
134. Regrettably, all the good paying jobs start before I get up
135. Rehab... Is for Quitters
136. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
137. Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous?
138. Reputation Means Nothing To Me
139. Sex Kitten
140. Sexy
141. She doesn't like me drunk and I don't like her sober
142. Slapper
143. Slave
144. So Many Men ... So Few Who Can Afford Me
145. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
146. Spank
147. STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
148. Tart
149. That's It! I'm Calling Nanny!"
150. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
151. The trouble with life is there's no background music
152. There is absolutely no excuse for what I am about to do
153. There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
154. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
155. They Say Losing Hurts ... I Wouldn't Know
156. This is my beer drinking T-Shirt
157. This Is NOT The Life I Ordered
158. Treat Me Like The Slut I Am
159. Visa & Mastercard Accepted
160. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
161. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
162. What am I, an a**hole magnet?
163. Wrinkled... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
164. Yes They ARE Real
165. Yes, Your Boyfriend IS Looking At Me
166. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
167. You KNOW you want me.
168. You Say I'm A Bitch Like It's A BAD Thing
169. Your Boyfriend Is Staring At My Tits
170. Your Mother Wouldn't Like Me ... Your Father Would
171. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
172. Zero To Naked In 6.2 Beers!
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